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I really hate the month of August.  It seems to last forever, with its heat and humidity and endless delaying of fall.  However, August does include the September issues of fashion magazines, which I very much enjoy.  I subscribe to Elle, for reasons I do not recall but which probably involved the check-out line at Ulta (that’s how I got my ill-advised but enjoyable Allure subscription).

I actually really like Elle.  The articles are smart and well-written, and the fashion and beauty spreads are interesting but not too fashion-y, so you feel like you could possibly realistically implement these ideas in your everyday life.  The ads, however?  The ads are something else, let me tell you.  I realize this probably reveals me to be very uncool, but the “high fashion” ads just seem ridiculous to me.  Below are some of the highlights from the September issue of Elle.

Insane eyeshadow shading, ultra blunt bangs, and some sort of belt…made of bags?  From Chanel.

This Marc Jacobs model’s face looks…bruised?  Also, her hat reminds me of Pamela Anderson’s furry pink hat, which is less than classy.  Good thing she has a handbag large enough to shield her entire naked torso!

 

Okay, so this Louis Vuitton ad is only slightly ridiculous.  I’m not a fan of the giant heels, and those hats can only be called Cat in the Hat-esque, but all in all this is a fairly respectable ad.  I do have some questions, like: where are all of these impossibly willowy white women going with their giant luggage and Dr. Seuss hats?  Why are they all wearing so much eyeshadow?  But like I said, this Vuitton ad could maybe get a pass, if it weren’t for the second page in this two-page spread…

Oh yes!  The Elton John glasses.  I don’t even…I can’t even…no.

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